19 Sep 2016

Successful Dating & how to secure a second date

Successful Dating & how to secure a second date

You have a date set and you’re finally going to meet the person that you’ve been chatting for weeks.

To make your first date successful, we’ve compiled top 7 tips to help you ace your first date and get a second date.

Body language

Body language plays a huge role in forming first impressions of what your date thinks of you.

Follow these tips and you’re on your way to making a good impression on your first date:

Smile – smiling is contagious and it makes people feel at ease straight away around you. It indicates friendliness, openness and it takes down barriers. If your date sees that you’re smiling, they are more likely to smile as well.

Maintain an ‘open’ body language – don’t cross your arms or legs as this will come across as defensive. Instead, lean forward as it shows that you’re interested. Open body language also shows that you’re being genuine, honest and there is nothing to hide. It also signifies confidence which is really attractive in a partner.

Watch your date’s body language – you also want to see the same from your date. However it is perfectly normal at the start of the date to see your date’s body language as a bit closed off as they too would be nervous seeing it’s a first date.

Slowly, you want to see their body language open up which is a good sign that they are also interested in you.

Maintain a good amount of eye contact. This definitely helps you to connect with your date but don’t stare at them for too long as you would come across as being creepy.

For guys – make sure you take care of the bill at the end of your first date. It shows that you’re taking the initiative and girls like to see guys who take charge of the situation.

If you’re the type who would rather split 50:50 on the first date, remember in a few years you probably won’t remember the amount of money that were coming out from your pocket, but you will certainly remember those warm fuzzy feelings if the date went well.

For guys – Line up your second date, before the first one has finished. If during the date you are really interested in her, and you are pretty sure that she is also interested in you, then bring up the topic of a second date. This not only gets your date excited but it also takes away all the post-date stress for both of you, knowing that you have a second date planned.

*Note: this should only be done late in the date just before your first date ended, otherwise you’ll come across as being clingy.

For guys – follow up with her as soon as your first date has finished. This serves two purpose:

• You want to see if she got home OK
• You want to eliminate the post-date stress by hearing from her immediately before your second date

To send a follow-up text is really easy. Just keep it simple and straightforward by saying:
“Make sure you text me when you get home safe”

Then when she gets home she’ll send you a “home safe 🙂” text, which will break that post-date ice.

16 Aug 2016

10 Questions to Ask on First Date

10 Questions to Ask on First Date

Online Christian dating can be scary… you’ll finally meet the person that you’ve been texting all week. While you’re looking forward to having the first date, expectations usually don’t match reality.

The last thing that you want is being stuck on a bad date, full of awkward silences.

Here’s why we’ve compiled 10 questions to ask on the first date to make your first date interesting and successful.

Tip: Keep every-day, mundane conversations topics like work, school and weather to an absolute minimum.

Having boring conversations that are ‘safe’ because you want the other person to like you is a mistake that most people make. It’s why people would say “yeah he/ she is fine, I think the date went well, but there wasn’t any chemistry“.

The other mistake that most people make in online dating is getting stuck into their personal issues from the get go – pouring their heart out hoping that the other person will understand and sympathise. NO. You are on your first date. The goal here is to present yourself in the most attractive way.

To avoid these pitfalls. Here are some 10 good questions to get the conversation flowing and help you find out more about the other person:

  • What do you normally get up to during the week or weekend? This will give you a good insight on what he/ she likes to do in their spare time.
  • Do you go to church? Which church do you go to?
  • When did you become a Christian?
  • What’s your testimony? Only asks this question if you feel that the time is right. If your date has to go in 5-10 minutes, don’t ask them this question as it might take them a bit longer to explain. Instead, save this as a second date question.
  • What’s your background? This is a legitimate question if your date comes from a different country and you’re curious to find out where they’re from.
  • How long have you been here for? Again, another safe question to ask. This indicates that you’re interested in them and their story
  • What’s your plan? Are you planning to stay here long term This tells you if they have a visa that’s expiring in a month and hence the need to go back to their own country
  • Do you have any brothers or sisters? You can be a bit playful here and based on the previous questions answered, you can guess whether they are the oldest or youngest in the family by saying “well you seem to be quite responsible and mature, I’m guessing you’re the oldest!”
  • What’s one of your favourite childhood memories? Everyone has some favourite childhood memories that they can’t forget. Take time to really explore this and take an interest in it. Let them feel those emotions again.
  • First impressions are always interesting.. don’t you think. Tell me what’s your first impression of me.. I’ll start first This is a good icebreaker but also gives you a chance to be completely honest with your date, but still keep it nice. For example, you can tell them that they have this really bubbly energy that you can’t pick up over text.

The key here is to find topics that are slightly uncomfortable but still interesting enough to get the conversations flowing. However don’t venture into the deeper conversations when you feel that neither of you are ready. Observe your date’s body language. If you feel that he/ she is closing in and/ or feeling defensive. Change the topic. You don’t want to leave the first date with a bad experience. Good luck on your first date!

13 Aug 2016

Top 5 Places to Meet Christian Singles

Top 5 Places to Meet Christian Singles

Every now and again we hear the same questions:

“How do we find good single Christian men or women? It seems that all the good ones are already taken”

“Is there any good online Christian dating site/ app that I could use to try and meet new people?”

Here we’ve compiled a list of the top 5 places where to meet Christian singles.

#1 Church

This may seem like an obvious one in Christian relationships & dating. But the people who regularly attend church are the ones who kept showing up in your life. Which means that there are more chances for you to talk to them, get to know the person and find out what he/ she is like. And if you feel connected, you guys could go out for a coffee. Don’t think that 1 date means that you guys are going to get married in 60 seconds. Getting to know your future partner may take months or even years before you make that level of commitment so be realistic. Start as friends first and see where it could take you.

#2 Connect Groups

Besides going to church, attending connect groups is also an excellent way for you to meet your future partner. There’s usually a lot of movements in church and people tend to be distracted. With Christian connect groups, people sit down in circles and usually they are encouraged to share what God has done for them during the week or someone would open up and share their struggles. This is a really good way of getting to get to know someone. Usually when you get raw and open up, the real person surfaces.

Most churches have plenty of groups that are catered to different age groups, interests and locations so find one that suits you and jump in.

#3 Serving

Serving at church is also a great way for you to get connected with people who have the same heart and calling as you do. Find out which ministry that God has been calling you to do. Get out of your comfort zone and start serving!

#4 Friends & Family

This is a no brainer but birds of a feather do flock together. A good way to meet your future partner is usually from your immediate circle of friends and family. However if you have exhausted your network of friends and still can’t find anyone.. This brings us to our next point

#5 Christian dating websites/ app

The thing with meeting people in real life is that it can come with its own set of challenges. People are usually tired, distracted or they are too afraid to make the first move. In Christian circles, it can also mean that your immediate friends and family are already taken and are in the next stage of life (engaged, married with kids hence different social circles altogether) or you’re all in the same boat (single and ready to mingle). And this is where it gets tricky.

To widen your network and meet Christian singles, you need to jump online. These days it’s getting more and more acceptable to meet people online. Online dating is no longer weird or a taboo.

Holyfire app is a great way to meet Christian singles in your local area. Whether you are going to church or walking down the street to pick up some groceries. You’ll get matched with Christian singles near you.

Download this app today!

We hope you find your true love soon 🙂